Insomnia
by AmyLeeWarren
Summary: And everyone thinks Patrick Jane has strange dreams. But, before long, she'll know everything he ever wanted to keep from her. Jane/Lisbon. Please read A/N on last page.
1. In Her Own Little World

_**Okay, I've just got into this, and got hooked from the beginning. This will have a slightly AU/Spoiler ending, just to warn. Also gets a tad darker.  
Romance/Family/Angst  
Lisbon/Jane  
Slight Van Pelt/Rigsby  
**_

_**Disclaimer- I own nothing**_

_**Please alert/review if you like it. Even if you don't. :) **_

**In Her Own Little World**

_His breath was hot on her neck, tickling the fine wisps of hair that trailed to her shoulder. She couldn't see him, but his arm was draped heavily over her side, hand resting on her abdomen protectively. Lisbon turned onto her other side, so she was nose to nose with him._

"_Morning, my dear." As always, he grinned, boyishly, dimples at the corners of his mouth and laughter lines around his eyes. _

"_Good morning." She couldn't help her lips tug into a small smile. _

_Pulling the blankets over their heads, Jane took Lisbon's hips, and pulled her closer to him. Gently, in the dark, he placed a kiss onto the tip of her nose, feeling her blush. She snuggled closer, and he chuckled lightly._

"_What?" She asked groggily._

"_Never saw you as a snuggler."_

_She playfully slapped him on the shoulder, before grabbing the sheets and throwing them back over their heads, so that they were hit with the harsh glare of California morning. They squinted in the sun, and as her eyes adjusted, she rolled over onto her back, and laid her head into Jane's shoulder. He grinned again, a long lost smile reserved only for her, as he took in her milky skin, messy bed hair, and emerald eyes, which were fixated on his azure depths. _

"_One of us has to make breakfast you know." _

"_I did it yesterday." He moaned._

"_You know I can't cook squat." She smirked. _

"_Fine." He sat up sharply, about to throw the blankets off of himself, before he was dragged down my his left hand, which was interlocked with Lisbon's right. She laughed lightly, as he propped himself up on his elbow, his head in his free hand, golden hair tousled, shining almost angelically in the sunlight._

_She examined his hand. Rough skin, clean nails, good size, and his wedding ring._

"_Why do you still wear it?" She whispered, and Jane tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear._

_She searched his eyes, the pain, loss and grievance ever present._

_He brought her face closer to his, words close into her ear._

"_It reminds me to hold onto what I love."_

_Before she could even move to look at him, Jane had captured her lips in a good morning kiss she knew she could get used to._

_

* * *

_

"Morning, my dear."

Her eyes fluttered a little, before Lisbon pulled her blanket over her head. Which wasn't a blanket. It smelled..musky. Sweet, yet masculine.

Jane.

She opened her eyes fully and failed to mask her soft gasp.

He was grinning at her. Really grinning, and she wondered whether she'd said something in her sleep. And he was close.

Too close.

This was the man who said she was 'translucent'.

Jane squatted by the end of the battered tan couch, where Lisbon had taken residence for the night.

"What time is it?" She muttered, neither of them going to move.

"8am. Everyone's here." He continued his high-watt smile, without faltering.

"What?" She cocked an eyebrow at him inquisitively, internally freaking.

He straightened up, and held out his hand for her to take. She swatted it away, and swung her legs over the edge of the sofa.

"Lisbon had a dream..." Jane sing-songed to the group. Cho barely raised his head from the computer, Van Pelt hid her smirk behind a file, and Rigsby chuckled, still munching on a bagel.

"I have dreams all the time Jane."

"Considering my implications..." His eyes softened dangerously, but the boyish glint remained. "I'm flattered Teresa."

"Why do I have your jacket?" She stammered, attempting to regain some dignity in a room full of co-workers, and a very egotistical Patrick Jane.

No chance.

"You were shivering." Lisbon groaned. "And it looked cute." He muttered under his breath.

"I heard that." She rolled her eyes at him. "And don't call me 'dear'."

"Okay, my dear."

She flung a cushion at his retreating form.

"Jackass."

"I'll make you coffee." He called gleefully from the corridors.

* * *

"James Dorian, 42. Single gunshot wound to the chest. Pretty accurate- straight through the heart." Rigsby rattled off facts to Lisbon as she crouched by the foot of the bed.

"Close range. 22 calibre?" She muttered, almost being so repulsed by the smell that she had to walk out the door. She'd visited many murder scenes, but the victim had been sitting for a good few days. He lay splayed across his bed, eyes open and fully clothed, a blossom of blood staining a ruffled lavender shirt. Lisbon forced down bile as she peeled off her latex gloves, threw them in a waste basket, and all but bolted out the front door. She was beginning to regret only having that cup of coffee Jane made her.

"Forensics estimate time of death from around midnight to 6am." Van Pelt slipped her laptop out of the case, and flipped it open. Hitting a few keys, she pulled a file. Lisbon perched on the edge of her SUV's open trunk, and peered onto the screen.

"Basics. Nothing strange with his financial record. 2 years in juvie hall when he was 12, but Mr Dorian's been clean since then."

"Straight laced."

"Sure was. Not even $100 in debt. Even I'm not that good."

Lisbon scoffed.

"Right, let's go. I'll take Jane to go and talk to the wife. Tell Rigsby and Cho to check out the neighbours, see if they saw anything. Van Pelt, go back to Sacramento and hold the fort."

"Will do Boss."

* * *

Dreams sitting on a back burner, Lisbon sailed through the rest off the day, and by dusk, she found her eyelids drooping dangerously.

"Maybe I should drive." Jane quipped.

"No, I'm fine."

"Liar."

An awkward silence enveloped the car.

"I'm curious, what did you dream about last night?" His eyes pierced the side of her head, and she actively avoided his gaze.

"Nothing. Drop it."

"Tell me."

"No."

"No?"

"What don't you understand about 'no'!"

He pretended to ponder for a moment. "Would have to be the 'no' part."

Lisbon huffed, and bit her lip to prevent retaliation.

"I'll drop the subject if you let me drive, you might as well be asleep and I don't want to die on your watch."

"Such a shame." Lisbon muttered as she pulled into a lay-by and handed over the keys.

Jumping in the other side, she mentally cursed herself as she felt herself drifting off again.


	2. White Picket Fence

_**Can I just say a massive thank you to everyone who reviewed, it really meant a lot. Some of you have some great ideas, and reviews help me be better as well. :)**_

_**Also, this is probably a little AU, not too sure, but I had to fit it in somewhere. Trust me, this gets so much more interesting. :)  
**_

_**For the disclaimer, summary etc, see the first chapter.  
**_

**White Picket Fence**

The car journey passed without any humiliation on Lisbon's part, and she was relieved she wasn't awake for Jane's manic driving.

He was gently rubbing her shoulder, shaking her slightly when she awoke from her daze.

"You're hell to wake up, you know."

She didn't even acknowledge him with a reply, just muttered something incoherent.

"What was that Lisbon?" He teased.

"Nothing."

"You dream again?" The corners of his mouth twitched up slightly.

"No." She sighed, a small relief.

"We're at your apartment." Jane motioned with his hand out of the window to a block of flats.

"How do you you know where I live?" She stammered, heels of her hands pressed into her eyes.

"I'm physic, remember?" He chuckled lightly, prying Lisbon's hands from her face, and held them between his own. "Get some sleep." He whispered, and tapped the top of her hand once before releasing them from his grip. She smiled nervously, and pulled away even more when Jane moved forward.

Couldn't have _that _now.

There was a twinge inside when he just flicked the handle so the door swung open.

"Goodnight, _my dear._" She shot him a half-hearted glare as he leapt out to hand her the keys back.

"You might be needing these." He held out the set, balancing them on one finger.

She snatched them away playfully before he could do any fancy tricks and lose them down a storm drain.

"You mind if I come up while I wait for a cab? I'll- well... yeah..." Jane smiled sheepishly.

"You can nab the couch." She laughed, she was too tired to fight against that boyish grin.

"Really?" His eyes lit up.

"Sure. Follow me." Jane placed his hand on the small of Lisbon's back protectively, covering his tracks by joking about not wanting her to fall down the stairs when she fell asleep on her feet.

Lisbon on the other hand, jerked at the sudden contact. His hand was warm and comforting against her cold body, and she could have swore she felt the spot burn when he released her so she could fish out her house keys.

She gulped, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

_

* * *

Waking slowly, she stretched her arms above her head, breaking free of her cocoon. Was she in her own bed this morning? She peeked out of the covers._

_Yes she was._

_Breathing a sigh of relief, she sat up, feeling oddly refreshed. Brushing loose hair out of her eyes, she padded barefoot to the window. Drawing open the curtains, she rested her arms on the cool windowsill, and took in the view of the coast._

_The bright blue sky stretched on without end, not even a fleck of cloud to be seen. The waves lapped gently against the smooth rocks, soothing sounds to her ears. The morning sun blazed in the east, a bright star upon a day sky. She closed her eyes, seeing red as the sun burned her eyelids. Breathing in deeply, she could smell the water, fresh grass, and coffee beans. _

_It even took her a while to notice she lived inland she was so taken by the view._

_Her eyebrows drew together, suddenly confused. _

_Her room, but not with the view._

_She slipped on a robe, and nudged the door open with her hip as she crept downstairs. The house was open, full of windows and mirrors, causing the illusion of more space than there really was. She found herself in an open plan kitchen, spotlessly clean, with a steaming mug of Columbian coffee sitting solely on the island in the centre. She picked it up gingerly and inhaled the scent._

_Clean kitchen, expensive coffee, sea view._

_Definitely not her house._

_To her right, french doors were bolted open, the drapes ruffling elegantly in the Californian breeze. She peered out, over the long, almost endless lawn, decorated by hedges, colourful flowers, and a small herb garden._

_Out of the blue, something hit the back of her neck, bared by her raised hair. It was cool- and wet._

_She turned, to be hit squarely in the face by a jet of water. _

_She made to swear, but bit her tongue when she saw the bouncing, blonde curls of a six year old girl dart past her, out of the doors, and to the bottom of the garden, where she hid underneath a large willow tree, her figure disguised by the branches._

_Placing down her coffee, she made after her, but was overtaken by another, a woman this time. Her long blonde waves drew out behind her, the slim figure carrying her quickly to her daughter's hiding place. The young girl shrieked, and was presumably hit my the contents of her own water gun._

_Lisbon found herself grinning like an idiot at the simple act of domesticity- playing happy families._

_There was an odd fluttering in her stomach, something she couldn't quite place._

_Contentment._

* * *

A rush of deja-vu washed over Lisbon as she padded across her floorboards to the en-suite. She resisted the urge to rush over to her window, rip open the curtains and make sure she was still in Sacramento. Splashing her face with cold water, she buried her face in towel, leaning against the cool tiles.

She sighed, and pondered on what she could remember of her dream. Closing her eyes, she found the image of the mother and child running down the lawn joyously burnt onto her mind's eye. Something was so familiar, so close to home.

She flattened her rebellious curls, and wiped underneath her eyes with a cold tissue. Glancing in the mirror, she pulled the robe from the back of the door and pulled it tightly around her.

Somewhere from her flat- Jane was whistling.

* * *

"What is that?"

"Breakfast."

"No, the song." She forced her smile back, but seeing Jane all but dance about like a lunatic in her kitchen, flipping what she could only guess were pancakes, and brewing Lady Grey was all to precious. He flipped a pancake into the air, and it landed expertly onto a plate on his right. He picked up a handful of fruit, and drizzled some golden syrup over the top.

"Honestly-" He turned to face her from where she stood in the doorway, his hair messy, sticking up in places, and his shirt creased. He leant against the counter, his feet and arms crossed, in a very 'Jane-like' fashion. She had to bite back her smile again. "I have no idea."

"It's jazzy."

"Good enough for me." He raised a plate to her, and she took it hesitantly, before flopping down at her kitchen table.

An awkward silence hung between them, the air thin.

"Something's been bugging me."

Lisbon stopped mid-chew.

"Why were you on my couch?"

She choked on her pancake, hoping that question wouldn't arise. Coughing and spluttering, she covered her mouth with a nearby tissue. Jane smirked mischievously.

"Might I add, I can tell when you're lying." He gave her the most innocent look he could muster.

She rolled her eyes at him, before polishing off her pancake, laden with blueberries. She mopped up the juice, took a deep breath and folded her hands in her lap.

Her heart pounded.

_Busted._

"I have a theory. Wanted to prove it." She tried to charm him.

She looked up to see his eyebrows raised inquisitively over his steaming teacup.

"I figured, that being- well...you- you would have finished that Sudoku book long ago. So there had to be something else you do."

Jane hid his guilty expression.

_Man that woman was good._

"Did you find something?"

"Maybe." She smiled lopsidedly, and Jane opened his mouth to retaliate.

Unfortunately, Lisbon's cellphone chose that time to shrill, and propel itself off the table.


	3. Blood on the Wall

**Dedicated to wisher93, because without being able to BETA her great stuff, I wouldn't even be reclaiming this.**

_**'There's a moment where dream and fear must collide.'**_

Blood on the Wall

She could feel her eyes drooping closed as she tried to concentrate on the blurring paperwork ahead of her. Eyelids becoming lead weights, she quickly slipped off her shoes and locked her office door. A black, leather-bound jotter caught her eye, and her hands just twitched to open it. She even told him, not that she found it of course, but that she knew. He had intruded on her life so much, even more recently, but why did it feel so wrong? Sure, this book was private, but he seemed to forget the term, why shouldn't she? She'd return it in the morning. Back to the spot underneath the battered left cushion. Rolling her eyes at her internal monologue, she flicked the switch on her office lamp and collapsed ceremoniously on her battered couch. No doubt Jane would still be outside, doing quite the same. He never seemed to leave before she did, walking her to her car each night, sometimes in the early hours of the morning. How protective.

Pulling a blanket over herself, her last thought was to let them both sleep.

Straining his ears for the fainted sound of movement in Lisbon's office, Jane found his feet moving towards her door. He pressed his ear against the door.

Nothing.

There was a faint, dim glow from around the door frame, and Jane peered through the blinds to see Lisbon's frame sprawled out over her battered couch. With the rest of the building in darkness, and all his 'snooping' finished for the night, he pottered back into the bullpen, and fell unceremoniously onto his couch throwing an arm over his eyes.

Didn't look like she was leaving any time soon.

_

* * *

She didn't care where she was driving. Her hands seemed to drag her along the coast, past massive houses and glittering front lawns. She sighed, and strange feeling settling in the pit of her stomach._

_Something that was becoming increasingly familiar. _

_Lisbon glanced into the rear view mirror, seeing only darkness._

_It must have been coming on midnight, with no cars on the road, not even a flashy sports car driving his date home from the Olive Garden._

_She found herself pulling into a long drive, unconsciously pulling house keys from the glove compartment._

_Her mind told her she knew where she was, but she just couldn't place it._

_It was like a long lost photograph, musty and torn at the edges, with some important parts missing._

_The house itself was amazing. All windows, mirrors and perfectly mown lawns. Even in the dark, she could tell it was worth a small fortune. Right on the coast, she could only image the view of the ocean at sunrise. She could almost feel the warm sand between her toes, or the crystal waters lapping at her ankles. _

_She turned the key in the lock, the door swinging open without a sound, and she dumped her keys on a nearby table without even looking._

_She gave a small smile to a pink and purple bike lying on the living room floor and wheeled it to lean against the nearest wall. Considering the silence, she began to pad upstairs._

_Lights continued to glow down a long hallway, and her attention was drawn to the far side._

_The only closed door. _

_She continued to walk, the sinking feeling of dread increasing with each step._

_When she reached the door, she sucked in a breath, all sense of life dragged from her body. _

_She saw a hand reach for the doorknob, seemingly hers, but larger, more worn and much more masculine._

_She gasped at a sudden realisation, and knew she would never be prepared for what she was about to see. _

* * *

Tears were burning by the time she awoke, a loud, harsh banging on her door invading her thoughts.

A ragged, groggy voice, gradually raising in pitch was calling her name.

She had never heard Jane frenzied.

But twice in one night was too much.

Pushing all pictures out of her head, she stood, wobbling slightly, ignoring the lurch in her stomach.

Stumbling to the door, she caught her reflection in the mirror just as she was unhooking the latch on her door.

She ducked her head, masking wet, red eyes, seeing a crumpled blue shirt and brown loafers.

"Teresa-" Jane said, concern lacing his voice, "-you screamed. Are you okay?" He took a hold of her arm, her dazed look giving him no confidence over stability.

"Fine." She whispered.

Lisbon didn't even bother looking up, her voice and pale complexion were enough to disprove that comment. Leaning against the door frame, Jane lifted her face tenderly with his thumb to make her look at him.

Both of them wish she hadn't.

* * *

As soon as she caught sight of his face, his eyes, she bolted, just reaching the bathrooms before bringing up her dinner.

In a heartbeat, he was behind her, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she dry retched. Holding back her messy hair, he held her shaking form. He glanced at his watch as the convulsions began to cease.

4:16am.

Finally finished, she found herself being pulled back into Jane's warm embrace, his arms circling her torso protectively, thumbs still drawing circles across her skin.

"You still have very little colour. What happened sweetheart?"

'Sweetheart' slipped out instinctively, but Lisbon didn't seem to notice, or perhaps didn't care.

She stayed silent, afraid opening her mouth would induce another fit of sickness. By now, tears were rolling free, seemingly endless, wetting her cheeks and falling off the tip of her nose like rain.

She couldn't forget who's arms were around her, or the soothing voice.

The same voice that emerged from her, weeping and crying in her dreams.

Catching sight of his shirt, she saw it bloodsoaked and ruined.

She couldn't stay.

Not here.

Freeing herself from his comforting embrace, for the second time that night, she ran for the hills.

**So guys, have I completely lost it?**


	4. Crosshatched Future

**Well well. Took me a very long time. It's 3am and I'm tired, but the chapter's done. Probably badly mind you. **

* * *

She hopped into her car, turning over the engine as quick as her trembling hands could. Glancing into her rear view mirror, she saw Jane, franticly looking about the entrance before dashing towards her SUV.

She gunned it just before he got to the back bumper, but unfortunately still heard the last call of her name, the word laced with more feeling than she ever thought could emerge from a trained actor's mouth.

A final tear slipped down her cheek to land on her blouse, soaked through with perspiration and tears.

Her heart pounded like crazy, a samba breaking out of her ribs. She gripped the steering wheel like a lifeline, her knuckles turning a deathly white. She caught her reflection and her chest heaved.

She bit her lip until it bled.

She vowed to herself that she was overreacting, letting her work become her, controlling her emotions and dreams.

That she was incorporating her speculation with crime scene photos and statements.

That she wasn't going mad, or submerging herself into such a deep hole she could never emerge from it unscathed.

Or with her job.

The dream was branded onto her memory. It felt so unbelievably real that she couldn't comprehend how she cooked it up inside her head.

Jane must have told her something, the smallest detail without even noticing.

She quickly dismissed this, her rational head saying her would never just slip something out.

She drove for what felt like hours, her muscles taking her home.

When she opened her door and threw herself onto the couch, the silence engulfed her.

The silence of an empty apartment.

An empty house.

She squeezed her eyes tight shut, willing blackness, oblivion.

She never found it.

* * *

By 9am the next morning, she was walking to her office, an extra shot coffee in her hand. Her office door was slightly ajar, and she pushed it open gently. Jane was at her desk, his head lolled back lazily. At the sound of her footsteps, his head snapped up, along with tired eyes. He was standing within moments, and strode to envelope her in a bone crushing hug that she didn't return.

"I thought you'd gone and gotten yourself hurt. You stupid woman, why did you leave?" He said into her hair.

"I had to." She murmured, pushing at Jane's chest to get him to move away. He did so without a fight.

"What happened Teresa? You're suddenly screaming in your sleep, then the next thing I know, you're bent over a toilet."

"I wasn't well. I had a fever."

"I know, I could feel it. But what could possibly be so bad, you'd scream like you did?" He gulped. "You terrified me." He said earnestly, averting his eyes from her face, but instead, he caught sight of the black book strewn on her desk, barely covered by paper. She followed his gaze.

"I never opened it." She changed the subject.

"You wanted to."

"Yes." She said honestly, too exhausted to fight with him.

"Come here." He moved towards her desk, picked up the book and took her hand on the way, pulling her gently towards her couch. She perched herself on the edge, Jane beside her.

He stroked the cover of the book lovingly, before slipping open the fabric catch and flipping over the front page.

It was blank.

He turned to her, amused by her confused expression.

He chuckled slightly before flipping over to the next page.

Filling the sheet was an extremely detailed sketch of Van Pelt at her desk from the perspective of the couch.

Lisbon gasped in surprise. "It's beautiful Jane. You're talented. But don't let Rigsby see this. He'll freak."  
Jane laughed before turning the page again. He did this repeatedly, waiting a few moments for Lisbon to take in what was on the page. She laughed at a few, but stayed silent for most.

They were all detailed drawings of the team, each in a position they were famed for.

When he reached the final half on the book, Lisbon had to look away.

There were twice as many pictures of her as there were the rest of them.

In any possible situation.

* * *

She could feel her eyes burning at the intricacy of the portraits, and damned the man for making her cry so much. She blinked back the tears and turned to see him with his head in his hands.

"I invaded your privacy Jane. I guess I wanted some revenge." She confessed.

"It's okay." His reply was muffled by his palms.

"But you're not." She laid a hand on the back of his neck comfortingly.

"I'm not used to people being in my world." Lisbon cringed internally at the reference.

"You are very talented, Patrick." She emphasised the use of his first name, and his head crept up from his hands.

"Thanks you." He mouthed.

There was a silence, where Jane moved so his hand so it was covering Lisbon's gently. Nothing presumptive.

To his surprise, she snaked her fingers around his and squeezed. He looked down at their interlocked hands and smiled.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'll be fine."

Though that did look doubtful to her, it was nice to see a smile grace Jane's face. However fake it was. She could see it didn't reach his eyes.

"Now go home and change Jane, you look a state." She giggled, and playfully pushed him out of her office. "Did you just spend the whole night here?"

"I was worried about you."

"Can't have that." She grinned, in an attempt to lighten the mood and return them to their normal bantering relationship.

Jane wasn't taking the bait.

"We'll see Lisbon." He said as he turned towards the elevator.

Lisbon's smile dropped off her face as he turned his back.

* * *

She padded back into her office, ignoring the commotion outside in the bullpen.

She fell onto the couch, and picked up the open sketchbook. She flicked through the pages quickly, revelling in the intimacy of all of the pieces.

At the back page, there was a lonesome sketch, a tableau from Jane's head.

Cho was on the right, smiling and holding a baby boy in his arms.

In the middle, Van Pelt and Rigsby stood arm in arm, smiles plastered on their faces, and each of their left hands showing a wedding band.

She stood on their right, just as always, her gold cross around her neck and her hands in her suit pockets. She laughed at how happy she looked.

There was something off about the family portrait. Something disturbed her, and made it hard for her to look at it for too long.

It didn't take her long to notice that Jane wasn't there.

**One or two more. Not much. :) Please review. **


	5. White Coats, White Walls

**It's the oddest thing looking a story traffic and seeing that there's far more visitors than reviewers. I'm bad for it as well to be perfectly honest. I think it shall be my belated new years resolution- to review more. **

**Anyway, little bit of a tangent there.**

**The next chapter is the penultimate. Last one's short, more of an epilouge really.  
**

* * *

She could only imagine they were connected, in some profound, nonsense way. Lisbon wasn't the mystical, new age type, but there seemed to be no other explanation.

No other way to describe what she endured during her dreams and nightmares. No possible logical reason for her living Jane's life, and experiencing his turmoil.

No real explanation for the twisting in her stomach when Jane stepped, freshly showered out of the elevator, equipped in a new suit three-piece suit. His hair was still damp and glistened slightly underneath the strip lighting. She peered around her door, slipping her case file under her arm, along with the leather bound book. She put the book inside the cover to hide it, before turning and heading towards the kitchenette. She caught him as he poured a cup of tea, dipping the teabag into the water rhythmically.

She watched his back, before sliding the case file across the bunker towards him.

"Narcotics want you to take a look at this guy. See if he's the drug smuggling type." She leant against the counter and tapped the cover.

"When did I start to get loaned out?" He laughed bitterly.

"When you became a pain in the ass know it all." She smirked in return, reaching up for her mug, which was inappropriately placed on the top shelf.

"Here, let me." Jane stretched up with ease, placing the mug into her waiting hands.

"I could have reached that fine."

"With a step ladder." Lisbon smacked him playfully on the arm, and he almost choked on his sip of tea.

"Please?" She held out the abandoned folder.

He sighed, and took it from her, sliding it under one arm. "Fine. But you own me, my dear."

"I think you owe me much more."

"Ah." His eyes lit up for a moment. "If I take a look at this, will you tell me what's going on with you?" He stepped a tiny bit closer, ad she could feel herself being trapped against the edge of the counter.

"There's nothing to tell." She lied.

"Keep telling yourself that."

He moved closer, and Lisbon could help but release a breath she didn't even know she was holding. In an attempt to regain some composure, her eyes fluttered shut. She could feel the warmth of his body, the sharp scent of his cologne.

Then it was gone.

Her eyes snapped open, and she found herself backed up into the fridge, Jane's teacup on her right, resting on the surface.

She cursed herself, blaming her reaction on lack of sleep.

Yet, she was still tempted to go and slap, or kiss, off that goddam cat-got-the-canary smile of his, that he no doubt had plastered all over his face.

Settling with hiding in her office for the rest of her life, she snatched up her cup of coffee and crept through, avoiding all contact with the bull-pen.

* * *

"Lisbon?"

_Everything's white. No definition, or shadow. It's so bright, she feels she has to cover her eyes from the glare._

"_Patrick?" _

"Lisbon."

"_Oh god, what did you do?" A glint of red emerges in the corner of her eye._

"Lisbon!"

"Yeah?" She jerked awake, pulling away a piece of paper that had stuck to her cheek. "What do you want, Jane?"

"He's not a drug smuggler." He dropped the file on to her desk, before flopping down into the nearby chair.

"Why not?" She rubbed her scratchy eyes, and pressed a thumb to her throbbing temple.

"Complicated, psycho stuff." She waved it off with a hand. "Bad dream?"

"Couldn't say. Don't remember seeing anything." He stayed silent for a moment, assessing her.

"You're awfully tired lately. Are you sure you're not ill? What happened last-" His voice dropped, becoming quiet, softer.

"I'm fine."

"Nightmares can exhaust you. It's an odd thing really."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at his interpretation of 'odd'.

"I noticed you gave me my book back. Thank you, Teresa." He held it up, pulling it out of the file.

"Some of your drawing are beautiful Jane, you should be proud."

"I'm just happy I have such a wonderful muse." He grinned, and her lips twitched up. He flicked idly through a couple of pages. "It's not everyday you come across such a versatile subject."

"You make us sound like meat." She said, pulling her cell towards her, hiding a significant blush that crept up her cheeks.

They were silent for a while, Lisbon pretending to ignore Jane's constant, penetrating gaze. She scrolled through her phone, and checked her email, doing all she could to block him out, without chucking him out.

"Problem?" She huffed suddenly.

"I can't read you." He blurted. "You've become very good at hiding what you're feeling from me. Especially recently. It's rather unsettling."

And she thought she was transparent, never mind translucent.

"Well. You'll just have to try harder." She winked.

"Don't make it so difficult." He groaned, and pushed himself up and out of his seat, before moving around to Lisbon's side of the desk. "Please." He knelt, and swung the chair towards him so he was at her feet.

"Look Lisbon, you once told me there were people who cared about me. People who need me. I don't want to be so presumptive..."

"Makes a change."

"Would you be quiet woman!" He snapped, and she was taken aback by his brashness. "I'm sorry." He murmured into her knees, and pulled her resting hands towards him, holding them between his own. He looked up into her face, etched with confusion, her eyes wide and childlike. Looking down at him, Lisbon had never seen him more nervous, his normal boyish charm lost.

"What I'm trying to say is that I care about you. More than I should if I'm honest." He finished quietly.

"Jane..."

"Let me finish. I know you're so guarded that you don't want to tell me what's going on. But you need to know that I'm here for you. Whenever you need me." He smiled sheepishly, and her face broke out into a grin.

"I knew that already." She pulled a hand from his grasp to softly graze his cheek. "I knew that." She graced the same cheek with a quick chaste kiss.

"Okay. As long as you do." He patted her hand that was still in her lap, and stood up quickly, almost embarrassed by their exchange.

He winked playfully on his way out, returning to their status quo.

That seemed to be happening more often, having to move away from the other, afraid of the repercussions.

Well- to hell with professionalism.

* * *

Jane had just lay back down onto his couch in the bullpen when Lisbon emerged, cantering towards him.

"We need to talk."

**A/N Strange dream, I know. But she was dozing after all. I hope people could maybe click that Jane was in his hospital room after he was institutionalised in the dream. **


	6. Tea and the Confessional

**A/N- Well, I forgot I had this. I'm ashamed really. I had to finish it. It's a quick job, and I'm sure I could have done much better with it, but it's done. It's over.**

**Thanks to everyone who read it, but I'm moving away from the fan fictions and onto my own things now, so if anyone enjoys my writing, please feel free to head on over to FictionPress. It's under the same user name. **

**B**

* * *

"We need to talk." She choked out again, her palms beginning to sweat. She rubbed them against the sides of her shirt before crossing her arms across her chest.

"Okay..." He said slowly, swinging his legs over the edge of his couch and pushing himself up. She could feel her cheeks beginning to burn. Jane moved quickly towards her, and within a second, all she could see was the blue of his shirt and vest. His hand was on her forehead and she felt her eyes flutter closed.

"You're burning up, are you sick?" Concern lacing his voice, he took her arms firmly, as if to keep her standing.

"It's warm in here." She murmured, eyes still closed. His hands were so cool and soft...

"C'mon." He said quietly, pulling her out of her trance and away for the team, who just stepped out of the elevator after a lunch break. He tried to avoid Grace, who's head twisted in their direction with a raised eyebrow. Her mouth opened to speak, but she stayed silent after she saw the pained expression on her superior's face. She just smiled softly at them as Jane pulled them into the nearest private space.

Which just happened to be a supply closet.

* * *

He tugged at the string that hung loose by the entrance and the light flickered on. The dim light cast shadows over her already tired face, making her seem ghostly.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the noise that emerged from her throat was more like a whimper.

The closet was small, but not so cramped that they were touching. They could stand apart and be comfortable, as much as they could be in a supply closet at work with around fifty agents prowling around outside anyway.

Lisbon groped for something to sit on, but found nothing convenient. Her whole body trembled as she lifted her gaze to Jane's penetrating stare.

"These dreams, Lisbon, they might stop if you tell me." She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a finger placed gently on her lips. Her eyes widened, bottom lip tingling at the contact. "I'm talking first." He said tenderly. "I will do everything in my power to stop these nightmares. Sweetheart, I'll always be there to save you."

He mentally scolded himself for the foolish pet name, but he could feel Lisbon's defences slip down slightly. Her lips tugged up into a sly smile, when Jane's finger slipped down to lift her chin.

"You are unbelievable." She whispered.

* * *

He was dangerously close.

She could feel heat radiating from his chest, and the musky scent of his aftershave filled her nose. From such a close proximity, she could see the true colour of his eyes. Even in the flickering light, she could see the cerulean with the occasional fleck of gold and green.

"I'm you." She blurted suddenly.

"Excuse me?" Without realising it, Jane had managed to pin Lisbon against the wall, and he placed a hand on the wall just above her shoulder.

"I'm you." She stammered. "I see what I can only imagine is what your life was like. What you dream about, what you see. What you've been through." Her voice faded away as she continued, finishing so small he had to lean in further to even hear her.

"Like what?" He stuttered, completely taken aback by her confession.

She mentally censored her words.

_No pain Teresa. Don't open up old wounds._

"What your life was like with your-" The word 'family' caught in her throat, but the glazed look on Jane's face told her he fully understood.

"Just then," she motioned with her hand, "I dreamt about you in hospital."

He stayed silent, averting his tearing eyes from hers. The closet was beginning to blur, the water lens distorting her vision. So much so, she thought she was wrong when Jane's hands came up to cup her cheeks gently, and when he rested his head against hers. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him. She rested her head into the crook of his shoulder and her placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He inhaled the scent of his Lisbon. Cinnamon. And a little bit of vanilla.

They both let the tears slip freely, silently, comfortable with the idea, and refusing to acknowledge the full consequences of what they just experienced.

For now anyway.

* * *

After a few minutes in the embrace, Lisbon pulled away with a sniff. Her small smile was returned, and even in the dark, she couldn't help but be dazzled. His smile was so honest, so pure.

She motioned for them to leave the closet. Jane playfully pressed his ear against the door, and Lisbon repressed a giggle.

Back to normal.

"Just go!" She hissed, and pushed him out the door.

Right into Hightower.

"Ma'am." He nodded, and blushed as he power walked away, leaving Lisbon to cower in the supply closet for a good half hour, before he _finally _came to rescue her.

He pulled on her hand, lifting her from the bucket she had taken residence on. She scowled at him, and shook her head silently. Jane just grinned and placed a quick, unexpected kiss on Lisbon's lips and placed a steaming hot cup of decent coffee into her hands before she could slap him. A rosy tinge crept up her cheeks, and a smiled coyly.

"This better be good coffee."

"Of course." He dipped into a small bow, giving her room to slide out of the dark room. She walked away, taking a small sip.

"Jane!" She barked. "This is tea!"

He was already around the corner and collapsed onto his couch, a boyish, silly grin on his face.

_

* * *

_

He missed.

_She was strewn across the dirt ground, her life fading with each drop of blood._

_He fell to his knees by her side, holding pressure against the wound, holding them together._

_He eyes fluttered closed slightly, but he could feel her trying to hold on with everything she had._

"_Stay with me." He whispered. _

"_Jane." She sighed, her fingers twitching towards him. She slowly took a hold of his arm, clutching at his forearm like he was the only this to keep her alive._

_A single tear dropped from her closing eyes, and the dam broke._

"_Patrick." She rasped._

_Suddenly, two bright lights blinded him, and he leant protectively across her torso. _

_There was a screech, a rip and the scratching of twisted metal._

Jane jolted awake on his couch, getting a rather odd look from Grace at her station. He just shrugged it off and wiped the accumulation sweat off his forehead.

Maybe insomnia isn't so bad when there's two of you.

* * *

**Okay, it's done. Thank you to everyone. :) **


	7. AN

Alright guys, I recently got a review through for this story, and was wondering if anyone would like me to continue, or write a sequel?

I'm open to ideas here, even if they seem silly, I'm more than happy to listen and try.

Thanks everyone, I greatly appreciate all the support you've given me. :)


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